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Intentions For 2019

Each year I pick a new word or intention. Somewhat of a theme or a vision for the upcoming year, intended to focus my energy. I don’t do resolutions or even goals for that matter, intentions are what drive me, so it makes sense that I have New Year’s Intentions. 

My word for 2016 was Release.

I learned SO much about myself by learning to release that which no longer serves me. As I look back on it, I know it was the necessary first step to amazing things.

My word for 2017 was Surrender.

I allowed myself to surrender into the wave of things. To allow what is best for me, to show up for me. 

My word for this year 2018 is ‘Discovery’ – and boy was it!!! I discovered all sorts of things that were not even on my agenda to explore!! I found my word when we bought a Land Rover Discovery and I loved all it’s unique little quirks. Ironically, the car and I parted ways midway through this year, but my word and I did not. 

I discovered so much about life and myself! I discovered new friends and new coping techniques. I discovered new services to provide and new activities to engage in. I discovered a new way of eating and thus a new way of living. 

I discovered that to truly Trust the Universe means you don’t worry. I discovered that I can turn worry inside out and that’s a thing!! I discovered new ways of being visible and available. I discovered that I like being pain free more than I like any addiction that kept me there. I discovered new ways of interacting with the Laws of the Universe and really saw their effects! I discovered my power to completely control my vibration!

Discovery, I thank you for your service this year. I thank you for all you did to exponentially expand my growth this year. I discovered myself – again. 

So, what about 2019?

It came upon me in meditation the other night and I must say I was a little confused because it came in pieces and with an illustration/visualization. 

The visualization that came with it was like a kaleidoscope of colors oozing unto itself. Almost like oil on top of a puddle creates a masterpiece. Or the clouds of an enormous storm billow out and out and out. It was organic, growing and changing into multiple colors. It was magnificent. 

This year’s word is Divine Grace. Yes, I realize it is indeed two words, but it is one concept which I think is really the point. Divine Grace. Just writing them, or hearing them brings me to my center. Divine Grace. It’s more than just Grace, which was a word I was entertaining for 2018. Divine Grace is BIGGER. 

It requires that I be bigger than I have ever been. It will push me to bring forth my very best self. Divine Grace. It makes me smile and brings me joyousness. It is beautiful to me. It looks something like this https://www.deviantart.com/sophquest/art/Serendipity-76739416

I believe it will reveal my Divine Feminine in ways I cannot even possibly imagine right now. I can feel it resonating in my body.

Divine Grace.

How does it feel to you? Am I the only one? It feels life changing. But then…they all do, don’t they? If you pick them right!

What’s your word for 2019? 

I love you!

~Jade

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Clearing The Confusion About The Types Of Energy Healing

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

When I tell people I am an energy healer I get everything from “what is that?” to “Oh, so you do Reiki?”

Answering either of those is not easy. Yes, I do Reiki, but I don’t only do Reiki. And trying to tell someone what energy healing is, is a little like trying to explain water. 

Here are the types of energy healing and their modalities:

  • Physical Touch. These modalities of energy work involve direct contact between a healer and the patient’s body, including massage, Therapeutic Touch, Healing Hands, Reiki or any use of the hands being laid upon the body.
  • Energetic Body. This type of energy work involves working in the energetic ethereal body also known as the aura or energy field of a human, plant or animal. They use Universal energy to facilitate healing energy like QiGong. Modalities include QiGong, aura cleansing, 
  • Vibration. This type of energy healing involve the movement of vibrating elements both within and without the body, like sound waves, light waves, even the vibrations of our thoughts and language. Modalities can sometimes include sound bowls, therapeutic music, crystals and chanting.
  • The mind. This type of energy work originates with the actual thoughts of the healer. Modalities include in telepathic exploration, blessings, mantras and prayer.
  • Channeling. These practices use the healer as a conduit for spiritual assistance from other people, entities, or energies in the unseen, non-physical realm.
  • Chakra. Some energy healing practices focus upon the 7 known energy centers within each living body, and seek to clear anything that blocks flow within these energetic portals.
  • Meridian. Some healing modalities, like acupuncture, acupressure and EFT focus upon the long currents of energy running through our bodies known as meridians.

These are the types. An energy healing practice may incorporate many or all of the above types. How a healer facilitates a particular type of healing is known as the modality. This is unique and individual to each practitioner and in my mind cannot really be duplicated as each individual has their own signature energy, much like a fingerprint which, intentional or not, influences the delivery. (This is why working on clients when the practitioner is ill is discouraged.)

This is why, Usui Reiki from one practitioner will feel different than from another practitioner even if both practitioners studied under the same Master. Yes, the modality may be technically the same, but the energy healing will be unique. A different technique is not a new type nor is it a new modality, its just a different technique. Think of energy healing as paper products. Depending on your needs you will choose the appropriate type (aka facial tissue, toilet tissue or paper towels). Think of the modality as the brand you prefer (Kleenex or Puffs) and the practitioner as the specific delivery system (with lotion, with vicks, triple ply, extra strong etc.). You will sense a difference between and most definitely have a preference among practitioners, but the healing energy is still the same pure energy that everyone has access to – no one discovers a new kind of energy healing, just their own access to it.

What is most important in choosing to pursue healing energy is making that first appointment. If you trust your instincts you are sure to find the right type, modality and practitioner for your highest good.

I love you.

~Jade

Introduction to the Seven Precepts of The Healing Rite of Passage

I’ll be exploring via video the seven precepts of my Healing Rite of Passage services. It’s not an e-course or any kind of video educational course. Just me, having a conversation with you, about the basis for the work that I do. Perhaps this will allow some to gain a better understanding of the benefits of working with me and a bit of an idea of how it can change your life.

The Ethical Healer

Do you remember the motivational aphorism, “fake it ’til you make it” that came about in the 70’s? I never could wrap my mind around that and when I did finally understand what it meant, it didn’t resonate with my spirit. I’ve spent much of my healing practice undoing the repercussions of that misguided notion in many ways in many different individuals. 

I ask you, when has faking something ever brought about the real thing for you? Why did anyone think faking something like confidence would actually cultivate confidence, inspiration or anything else? 

You can’t pretend your way into or out of anything. You have to do the real work to get the real payoff. You can’t half ass stuff and hope the rest falls into place. What you put out or in comes right back to you, so if you don’t like what you are seeing then you might just need to take a look at what you are actually putting out rather than what you believe you are putting out.

I also think there is intrinsic value in being authentic. If you are nervous or unsure I think it is powerful to admit that, to own that. I think pretending is foul.

I had a conversation with a friend and business partner today about holistic healers who hang up their shingles too early and this falls in line with that. 

It is a great responsibility and honor to work in the holistic healing world. So, ethically speaking, you need to be leading a holistic life if you want to provide holistic support to others. After all would you patronize a dentist who didn’t take care of his own teeth? A weight loss clinic who’s staff was all overweight? A pulmonologist who smoked? A therapist who self-medicates? Would you go to a General Surgeon who was faking it ’til he made it?

If you are a healer – any kind of healer – I believe you need to be on the road of self-mastery before you hang up your shingle. We never fully master ourselves because we are ever evolving, ever growing, there is always new ground to cover if we are doing it ‘right’, so I’m not talking about perfection here. I am talking about self-awareness though. If you haven’t used your formulas, techniques, programs, tools and interventions on yourself, in your own life, for a significant period of time then how can you, in good conscience, say you are prepared to assist others in using them in theirs? How can you look them in the eye, with confidence and say ‘trust me…I know this is hard…but trust me’?

You have to have a fair amount of practical application under your belt in order to fully develop as a practitioner and to attain credibility. A person who graduates medical school isn’t automatically a doctor! No. After the four years of medical school, they need to complete 3-7 years of residency training before they are even eligible for medical licensing. 

Why? Because practical application of learned information is needed for the student to develop into the healer. I believe the same goes for holistic healers, even though there is no regulating body to establish such a protocol. 

Maybe it is because I started in energy healing before it became mainstream, when education and certifications were not as readily available as they are today. In fact, the internet did not even exist then! Let that sink in for a minute.

I learned energy healing modalities at the side of my mentors, in classrooms with live teachers, I read every book I could get my hands on and worked on friends, family and strangers. I lived in metaphysical stores and picked the brains of everyone I met. I did it in conjunction with my duties as a hospice and medical social worker. Clients came to me by word of mouth or they were my co-workers in my mainstream job. 

If you have a healing practice – not just learning as a student – then healing should be active in your vibration. What does that mean? It means that you do your due diligence in your own self-development. That you are looking at every aspect of yourself and making higher vibration choices every chance you get. It means that you have at least 75% of your shit together, the majority of the time.

Does it mean you heal yourself overnight? That you can’t practice until you are perfect? No. It means that you have healing and health in your forefront. It means you make yourself a priority.

It means -at the very least- that you are stellar at taking care of yourself.

You need to be your first client. In theory, you should take no better care of any patient than you care for yourself. You serve as a prime example of the fine work you do.

As an ethical healer, you walk the walk, not just talk the talk. It means you have an active healing plan in place for your optimum holistic health and that is your priority everyday; even though it might take weeks, months or years to accomplish your longterm goals. On the daily though you are working towards your optimum holistic health. No matter your situation, there is always something you can do every single day that is moving you towards your longterm goals. Even if it’s as simple as visualizing.

When you take on the role of a healer, you are saying to the world that you are going to make it better…one person at a time. The first person should be you.

When you do not have healing active in your vibration then you can do more harm than good. You don’t have the perspective or experience to handle the situations you may be faced with. This is not memorizing remedies and interventions and spitting out the facts. This is very personalized interaction and if you haven’t done your own work it will show up as inauthenticity for some of your clients.

The bottomline is how would you assess a client who showed up the way you show up? Would you let your client get away with the excuses you are making and the amount of effort you are putting in? Would you consider them doing ‘good enough’ or ‘the best they can’? 

Would you? 

Or would you call them on their shit? So do that to yourself! Look, the world needs more healers. I am not out to talk anyone out of being a healer. I just need you to be your best. You need to be honest with yourself if you are going to be honest with anyone else. 

Have big dreams of healing? Great. Start out small. Start with what you know, what you have done and could do in your sleep. What do you have the most experience with? What have you failed at, then succeeded in? That’s where you excel. That’s where you need to start building your business. Then as you acquire more experience in other areas you can add to your services, but make sure you own them first. That you have failed and succeeded many times over, so you know that technique and it’s relevant issues inside out. 

No one is going to come to you with textbook anything. There will always be some unique glitch in their experience and the more experience you have the better you will be able to put all your knowledge together to heal that client. 

And remember that healers need healers too. We never do anything alone! 

I love you! 

~Jade

Making Your Life A Masterpiece

Today I saw a meme that had this to say:

The past is your lesson.

The present is your gift.

The future is your motivation.

As I read it, I heard loudly these words in response:

The past is your portfolio.

The future is your inspiration.

The present is your canvas;

Paint the shit out of it.

I am now spending the day reflecting on this. I love it. We cannot allow ourselves to be burdened with our past. We cannot allow ourselves to be defined by our past. However, in reality our past is the journey we took to get to who we are now. That deserves to be honored. It deserves a place of reverence and accommodation because without it you would be someone completely different and that is unacceptable because who you are right now, is simply amazing.

Today will be tomorrow’s Past. Can you stand to just let that be discarded? I mean what is the point of bettering ourselves if we completely discount who we used to be?

This might shock you, but I have a past. Some might call it sordid. Some might call it tragic. Some might find inspiration in it. Others might find it boring. But its mine and with it’s colors I have painted my life.

I have no shame in my game.

I am so much wiser for the experiences I’ve had. I have empirical knowledge of so many challenges that plague other people which gives me the advantage when asked for assistance.

I paint my canvas of today with the palette of colors I’ve collected along my journey. I choose to use some more than others, but I’m not afraid to color with any of them. I cherish each one for the depth it brings to my life.

beautiful calm clouds dark
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The concept of our Past as a portfolio is delicious to me. I love that notion of a living breathing scrapbook to flip through creating no more shame than that of a third grade hairstyle in a school picture.

The notion that our Future is our inspiration is also very delicious to me. Each tomorrow is created from the vibration of the days before it. So it stands to reason that the future offers inspiration to create a Masterpiece of each and every day. The future is filled with the new colors of possibility and hope.

The Present is the only one of the three we hold in our hands – once a day for just 24 hours. The act of being present is the stroke with which we swipe the colors of our palette across the canvas. With it we create magnificence or mundanity.

We cannot create magnificence with blindfolds on. We cannot create magnificence with blinders on. We cannot create magnificence with dark colored sunglasses on. We can only create magnificence with our eyes wide, glasses off and hearts open. This is how we make the most of every canvas.

Paint the shit out of it! My most favorite part. What good is it if you are so careful that you miss the part of passion? The part that lies in the mess. The part that lies in between your fingers as the paint oozes through them. The part that lies in the unexpectedness of each moment and the subsequent color strewn across the blank canvas.

Take all the colors and make them sing! Use them sparingly or commandingly as you see fit. You and you alone are the Creator of this Masterpiece. You and you alone choose the colors. You and you alone choose the breadth, width and pressure of your stroke. You and you alone.

Paint the shit out of it, my friends.

Paint. The. Shit. Out of it.

I love you.

~Jade

 

 

13 Pieces of Wisdom

If I had to bottom line my take on living your best life, it would be this list.

#1 When People Show You Who They Are Believe Them

Maya Angelou is one of my favorite authors and this is my favorite lesson from her. I used to really get caught up in what people told me. Their behavior would show me one thing, but their words would tell me another. I always believed their words. This made me easily manipulated.

When I started to put two and two together this quote really made sense to me. People can, and will, say anything to ‘keep’ you in their illusion.

#2 Rule of Three

The rule of three applies across the board for almost everything. What you put out into the world, comes back to you threefold. Third time’s the charm. But what I mean here is the pattern formula in relationships. The first time a behavior appears it can be a fluke or an error in judgement. The second time it appears is concerning and needs to be discussed. The third time is evidence of a pattern of behavior and if the behavior is a deal breaker, it is best to walk away. The pattern is difficult if not impossible to break without concentrated effort to change.

#3 Never Go Backwards

Ex’s are ex’s for a reason. What brought you together has deteriorated and you’ve grown in different ways in different directions or you wouldn’t have broken up. Don’t look back. Don’t buy into old patterns (see #2). The exception to this is time. If more than seven years have passed and you find yourself in different places at the same time, then explore! You are both different people. Give it a try. You never know what will happen. But make sure you keep #2 close to your heart because change many not have taken place after all.

#4 The Universe Is Conspiring On My Behalf

It is easy to believe this when events we deem good come our way. When in the midst of undesirable things however, this can be difficult to embrace.

You just have to look back over your life’s disappointments, heartaches and tragedies to see how they created openings for other wonderful things to enter your life. It doesn’t mean that they weren’t painful or hard. It doesn’t erase that pain or struggle, but it does help us heal from them. Life is filled with beginnings and endings; hellos and goodbyes; starts and stops.

Knowing that everything is perfectly perfect in its imperfection and all is in Divine Timing can get us through the most confusing times.

#5 Everything Happens As It Needs To

This flows perfectly from #4. Everything happens exactly as it needs to. Exactly. You can’t moan away hours whining that you ‘shoulda’ done something different. This moment of realization is brought to you courtesy of all the moments that came before it. Not everyone’s awakening/healing will happen in the same format. What is made available to you is done so when you are available to receive it and when it is most beneficial for you.

So often we lament over “I shoulda, woulda, coulda’s”. Nitpicking over every single memory inspecting where we went wrong or where we could’ve done better. It’s a waste of time. Bread is dough until it is fully finished baking. You want bread, my friend. Be bread. Embrace the bread. (Even if you choose gluten free!)

#6 Don’t Chase Anyone Who’s Walking Away From You

Rejection is a hard pill to swallow…so don’t. Rejection isn’t a thing except in your own mind. When someone is walking away from you, either at a cocktail party or after a 20 year marriage, it is not a rejection of you. It is an expression of their needs or wants. There is nothing lacking in you that you need to feel rejection over. Nothing.

And there is likely nothing lacking in that other person either. They just have indicated to you that connection lies elsewhere for both of you. A simple, ‘thank you for clarifying’, muttered under your breath is gratitude enough! You didn’t realize that lack of connection, so be grateful they did before you spent weeks, months or years figuring it out. Next!

#7 Always Follow Your Intuition

Ever say to yourself, “I KNEW it!” after something doesn’t quite go the way you expected? Or maybe it even did go as you expected. That is your intuition. It may not (and it does not) have logic or reason behind it, but it is as true as True North. You need to cultivate that. Don’t let your brain tell you that you must justify that niggle. That niggle is your built in navigation system. This is your direct line from your Source Self. It isn’t full of fallacy like the ego mind. It is pure and clean and accurate.

As we grow up though we may be surrounded by others who have ignored their intuition. They will convince you to turn yours off to, so if you are looking to turn it back on, it might take a bit to figure out the secret codes. How to decipher between your intuition and fear can be difficult. Here’s a tip: fear will move you away from something; your intuition will move you towards something.

#8 Your Life Is Created By Your Vibration

You may have heard this already – In fact, you may have heard all of these already – but you might not fully understand it. Maybe you don’t even understand vibration. Ok, let’s get personal for a moment.

Check into your body.

  1. Think of the last time you were disappointed. How did that feel in your body? Was it heavy? Dense?
  2. Now think of the last time you had an orgasm. How did that feel in your body? Not during, but after…the afterglow. Got it? How did that feel to you vibrationally? What words would you use to describe it?

How you feel after an orgasm is a moment of your highest vibration. You can feel the energy buzzing and humming throughout your body, under your skin long after the orgasm has past. You want to make choices, take actions and have beliefs that make you feel like that, rather than how you feel when you are disappointed. Being disappointed is a moment of your lowest vibration. If you can get your thoughts to a place where they make you feel your highest vibration (HV) you will attract things, people and events that match that. Then you will respond with HV which will cause more HV things to present themselves. Its an upward cycle. I don’t need to tell you there is an equal and opposite downward cycle with low vibration, do I?

Situations that bring your vibe down are inevitable, but you can switch on your highest vibration by revisiting HV thoughts and find the closest truest thought about the current situation. (If you’ve done ‘affirmations’ and they didn’t work for you, it is because you were missing this piece.)

#9 Eliminate “Should” From Your Vocabulary

As hinted at in #5 ‘should’ is a four letter word. Ok, it’s not, but it is profane in it’s manipulations. There is and never will be another you just as you are in this lifetime. Never. Not one. Therefore, these rules that surround ‘should’ are bogus. No one ‘should’ do or be or have anything specific at any given time.

Instead of shoulding yourself, “I should do this because it is the right thing to do”, say instead “I want (or need) to do this.” We all do things we don’t really want to do, for the sake of a healthy relationship. “I don’t want to go hiking, but I do want to participate in an activity that my beloved enjoys.” Should is a derivative of guilt and guilt needs to be a non-entity in your life.

#10 Let Go Of That Which No Longer Serves You

I remember the last nigh-nigh (pacifier) that my daughter had. She used them only when she went to bed, which is how they got their name. Nigh-nigh. At the point that I intuitively felt she could fall asleep without them, I stopped replacing them. By this time she understood the term ‘broken’ and that when things were broken we could not fix them and they went into the trash. So, as each nigh-nigh deteriorated I let her throw them away. One by one she let them go. They were no longer necessary. They no longer served her.

It is the same for many beliefs/thoughts/relationship/material possessions in our lives. We hold on, sometimes, just for the sake of holding on. We need to step back and see if something is serving us. We ask ourselves, ‘is this serving my highest good?’ ‘Is this taking me towards or away from my highest best life?’ And we let go of what isn’t and allow the Universe to present what is next.

#11 Fear Leads You Away From Something

I mentioned this in #7 but it is important enough to stand on it’s own as many of us cannot tell the difference between being cautious and letting fear get in our way. Now, I am not talking about the sort of fear that tells you not to go down a dark alley at midnight. I am talking about the kind that prevents you from expanding your wings and trying something new. The one that tells your heart, you can’t.

Intuition, says “meh, no not this, but maybe this”, while fear says, “oh no I can’t! That’s foolish! I could lose everything!” Intuition will always end with an alternate possibility and feeling elated, while fear will leave you in the exact same spot feeling defeated.

#12 Never Let Them Change Who You Are

Do you remember when someone first told you, ‘don’t sink to their level’? I do and I must confess it felt binding as well as vague. Internally, I wanted to hit them low when they hit me low. I wanted to impart pain in equal measure to what I’d experienced. When I did that though, it didn’t make me feel any better. The pain was still there and something else sat like sludge over the top of it.

Why? Because I was changing my nature to match someone else’s vibration. My higher self was conflicting with the lower expression of who I was. In short, I was letting them change who I was. That’s when you have lost…when you’ve lost who you are.

#13 Strive To Understand Before You Strive To Be Understood

I left this for last, because I want it to be the last taste in your mouth. I want it to hang off your lips and be the first to fall out. This is the key to successful relationships, no matter the relationship. Too many individuals are caught up in the power struggle to be ‘heard and understood’, because they feel like they have been voiceless. In a world where no one is listening that isn’t surprising.

I was raised Catholic and one of my very favorite songs is St. Francis’ prayer. It is filled with good advice that I have tried my best to live my life by. If you don’t know it, these are the words. And you can hear it here.

Prayer of St. Francis
Lord make me an instrument of your peace
Where there is hatred let me sow love
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith
Where there is despair, hope
Where there is darkness, light
And where there is sadness, joy
O divine master grant that I may
not so much seek to be consoled as to console
to be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love
For it is in giving that we receive
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned
And it’s in dying that we are born to eternal life
Amen

 

I have long left my organized religious roots behind me. Or maybe they are just at the very root of who I became. I have taken the very best of what I’ve been taught and combined it with other teachings that resonated with Truth for me.

This, ‘to understand as to be understood’ is but one.

I leave you here, with this because there is no better way to leave you.

I understand, but I will never stop seeking to do so.

I love you,

~Jade

“Empowering Women”

“Empowering Women” is big business right now. Or at least it is in my circles. I can’t scroll through Facebook without an add or a post from someone who describes their work as ’empowering women’.

These people seem to have successful businesses doing it. I say seem because who knows what is real. Anyone can say anything in their own advertising. Damn, you can even write your own testimonials. People are notorious for test driving fancy cars through fancy neighborhoods, taking a photo and presenting it as if it were their own manifestation. Yes, if you are paying attention, I am a little jaded – pun intended – on my own industry right about now. Because I don’t like tactics, or facades. I like real and authentic. But that’s another topic.

I do not and will not ever say I empower women. Women -actually, everyone – are born empowered. That Light that makes you alive is power. You always have it. You can’t lose it and I can’t give it to you. I can’t even do a ceremonial ritual to activate it in you. The very best I can do is ENABLE you to access it, because someone else DISABLED your access to it, prior. Honestly, all that disabling was an illusion anyway, so I’m really just pulling back the curtain. Its easier when you have the right tools, and I’ve been collecting them for a long time now.

What I’ve noticed lately in this empowerment culture, is a call to Sisterhood. What I’ve also noticed is that it is Sisterhoods run like The Boy’s Club. It is sisterhood as long as some one is doing poorly and those in power (hierarchy) can feel good about themselves lending a hand up.

Have you noticed that in a group of women when one puts herself down, makes herself small and criticizes herself, all the other women rally around and tell her how beautiful she is, how amazing she is, how much she has to offer and that she needs to find her voice to speak her truth?

Have you also noticed that, in that same group of women, when one who’s found her voice, speaks her truth compassionately, lends her educated opinion intelligently and offers to share her gifts generously, that same group of women put her ‘in her place’ and tear her down – telling her she is full of herself, opinionated, self-promoting and self-serving? “Polite” people will call her intimidating. (I’m not talking about those who practice the ‘fake it til you make it’ protocol. That is overcompensation, not authentic and not at all what I’m referencing here.)

I’ve watched it now, specifically for 6 months in various formats. So often I see women eager to raise up others they perceive to be beneath them, and tear down other women they perceive to be above them. Even more so, I see women aggressively tear down those they might feel are equal to them, because they see them as direct competition.

This is the Old Boy’s Club paradigm at work. They have divided us first from men, then from each other by race, religion and socioeconomic status. How smart that Boy’s Club is! We do all their dirty work for them! We take each other out for the smallest crumbs at the table. All they have to do then is take out the few that rise above the culling of the herd.

We have become our own worst enemy at exactly the worst time.

This world needs the Divine Feminine more than ever, but we have disabled ourselves. We have turned on each other and made it so we would each prefer to side with men, because at least there we know where we stand. We know what to expect. We know that we will be insulted to our face, not stabbed in the back. (And I think subconsciously, we think that is the path to power.)

Ever wonder why a woman would side with a man against all reason? Why when he treats her so poorly, she will stand with him against other women? Because of the Boy’s Club mentality. It is what has women support someone who openly admits that his power allows him to grab women by the pussy, and that those women think they are special because of it. It is why we immediately question a female victim’s motives, rather than supporting her in telling her story.

Like I said, the Boys did their jobs well.

It starts early and never seems to end. I experienced sexual harassment from a gang of girls in the sixth grade. My own mother threw me out of the house when she found out I’d reported my college teacher for sexual harassment. I experienced a gang of women chiding and making fun of me after I reported having been trapped in an office by a male co-worker unknown to me who made sexual references.

Have you seen this video circulating on Facebook?

You.

Must.

Watch.

We have too much been told we are too much. We have too much been dimmed. We have too much wounded one another in the race to the top of the pyramid. Enough!

Enough of the school yard bullying. Enough of the board room bullying. Enough! If you are a woman than your first inclination towards another woman needs to be kindness not competition. Boys have pit us against one another for far too long…since grade school for many of us. Enough.

I see so many women calling themselves warriors, boss bitches and even some who call themselves ‘spiritual gangsters’. This is not the way to embrace and honor the Divine Feminine! These are all men’s pants that women are putting on! We need to be the gentler strength. We need to be Queens and Goddesses! We need to be Maids, Mothers and Crones!! We need to embrace the strong woman archetypes of all variations, not just the ones that exhibit Divine Masculine.

We need to ‘beat’ them at our game, not try to play theirs. I just watched the most heart wrenching video of one of the most heroic women I have ever heard of. She isn’t a politician. She isn’t telling her ‘me too’ story. She hasn’t gone to the board room and declared war.

She was held captive and beaten for two days by her boyfriend, before she convinced him to take her and her dog to the veterinarian’s clinic. She then got out of eyesight of her boyfriend, wrote a note and slipped it to a tech behind the desk. In the note she states that she’s being threatened and her boyfriend has a gun. The staff went into action, put them in an isolated room and called the police without alerting anyone. The arrest was made smoothly without incident to her. Then she broke down while she displayed her bruises.

If you haven’t seen it, watch it here

It’s heart breaking but makes me so proud to be a woman. Never give up.

One woman had told her story in front of the nation and faced her accused abuser. I believe 100% of women need to support her, but I am shocked to find that not so. I do not understand.

And then today I see a video of a white woman who, without cause, barred a black gentleman from entering his own apartment building. And then I saw a post by a black woman who was reported to security and the police by a white man as she was going through her own trunk.

Underlying premise…people of color cannot have nice things.

What does that have to do with empowering women? 1) What if the roles had been reversed?  What if he had done that to her? And if she truly thought he didn’t belong why did she willingly lock herself into a confined space with him? 2) That white male…would he have called the police if he’d seen that black woman being raped instead of rummaging in her trunk? Or would he have chosen ‘not to get involved’?

I do not understand the society mindset today.

Women. We need to have each other’s backs and we need to not become douchebags and call it ‘asserting ourselves’.

Let’s be better.

I love you. I do. But some days…..

~Jade

 

 

Hold Yourself Accountable, Guru

I’m a little aghast right now. Fair warning, this will be a little rantish.

I just witnessed a celebrity ‘relationship expert’ demonstrate the most repulsive behavior. I just can’t understand it. How does society at large give such credence to people who do not walk their talk? What is it that? What has people say ‘yes, I will buy your book and invest in you despite your bad behavior” ????

When I was looking for mentors, teachers, coaches, etc…I was watching. Observing. I was very careful to find someone who looked like a better version of me. Because if they weren’t better a version of me, how could I look to them to help me become the best version of myself?

I’m not talking about someone who is perfect. No. I am talking about someone who is consistent and congruent. Just that. I mean, if you can’t resolve your own conflicts, how can you inspire others to resolve theirs?

Hypocritical. This is all I kept thinking.

She was so obsessed with being understood that she became blind to trying to understand the other person. This is key in relationships.

Relationships are two way streets. They are not just your relationships. You co-own them with others, which means their feelings and perspectives are just as important as yours. When attempting to resolve issues, it is important to get out of your own head and try to get into theirs. Now this other person might not be interested in that, and that’s ok. If you are the ‘expert’ you will know how to handle this. And handling it does not mean shaming that person, nor slandering them, calling names, nor embarrassing them. Yet, that is what this ‘expert’ did.

This person has books. Does tours. Holds retreats.

How does this happen? I really don’t understand. I don’t understand how people accept that. I also do not understand the confidence of someone to call themselves a ‘relationship expert’ when they don’t do their work. Again, not looking for perfect. Not looking for someone who doesn’t go on a rant on occasion. I am looking for someone who knows what it means to take accountability. One who is seeking to understand more than to be understood. One who controls their ego, not one who’s ego is out of control.

“Use your big girl words.” That’s what I want to say.

My daughter, at the age of 22, in a verbal disagreement with a 43 year old woman was called a ‘bitch’ by this woman and simply came back with ‘and I think you are a little two-faced’. We don’t call names. We don’t throw labels.

I have been in some dark times. Some trying times. I’ve been overwhelmed and undervalued…

but I never ever let what someone else is doing change who I am.

Consistency and congruence are my measuring sticks. I never ever want to be a hypocrite. I revere other people’s lives too much to sell anything other than my 100% best.

I am not perky all the time. I can get snappy. I get frustrated. And when I act a fool I apologize. I examine why I let it get to me and learn from it.

I do that by asking myself why this is happening. What in me is allowing this? “She brings out the worst in me.” That’s what she said. Well, ask yourself why relationship guru. Why do you think that is? Why does this person who doesn’t know you and can’t know your triggers keep tripping them? And why are you not taking responsibility for those triggers?

Yes, responsibility for your triggers, lies with you, not anyone else. It’s not anyone’s job to walk softly around your triggers. It is your job to understand your triggers and defuse them like the landmines they are. I usually add in a ‘thank you for showing me this’, if not to the person, then to the Universe itself.

I have also processed out loud with groups of like-minded individuals. I don’t pretend I have it altogether. I completely am transparent in disclosing that this is hard for me and I can’t figure it out. “I know this and such, but I can’t get my mind on board” kind of thing. In fact, I just did that in one of my groups, facing one of the biggest challenges of my life. You know what? People respect that and appreciate it.

Please, when you are looking for ‘expert’ advice. Research who’s advice you are taking. Do they tell you what you want to hear, or what you need to hear? Do they tell you things that expand into your highest best self or shrink into someone else’s mold?

Be you and if you need help with that, find someone who has mastered themselves.

I love you.

~Jade

 

 

 

Keto WOE vs Keto DIET

Let me first start out by saying this was supposed to be a private thing. This was written for two Facebook support groups. One called “Push For Your Better” and the other “Ketogenic Diet – motivation group”. It was denied approval by both groups. I am disgusted and will be leaving them both. Or maybe not, maybe when you are done reading you can explain to me why this would not be approved. *edit So, it appears that the link to my blog is the problem with the post and why it was not approved. In fact, it got me essentially kicked out of a third group. 

My Keto Friends,

I have been watching, mostly from the sidelines, as I traversed my own Keto journey. Lately I have been feeling overwhelmed by the emotions behind the posts ‘I’ve been doing Keto since _______ and have only lost ___ pounds’. Some are super heartbreaking, in that they have been doing it a long time with proportionately little loss. While others seem to be skewed, being on the protocol a few weeks with what I would deem a proportionately significant weight loss.

This has been haunting me.

Why? Well, let me share a bit about myself so you can get the clearest picture. I am a Life Enhancement Specialist. I am an energy healer with a 30 year career of social work to go with it. What that means is I’ve taken all the experience from my years working with humans in their worst moments and combined it with my equally as long career of metaphysical healing work (sacred work) to facilitate opportunities of growth and healing for others. I help people connect what is going on with their bodies to what is going on in their mind and heart.

I have struggled with weight issues since I was 24 and started on birth control. I’ve struggled with body image issues though since I was 15, 5’2” and 115# when the doctor said, before even looking at me, “So, I see you’re carrying a little extra weight.” Though not particularly athletic, I had an athletic build. He changed his tune after examining me, but the seed was planted and took root.

I am a hippie-dippie, gypsy, tree-hugging, lie naked under the moon, health conscious, holistic, naturpathic and homeopathic woman of 53 years. I know that the physical body is only mirroring the emotional and energetic bodies. I have worked on my internal stuff religiously and openly, while assisting others on their path of healing. None of this work helped me lose weight, though. Not that I intended it to, but do you remember the time when the big tag line was ‘it’s not what you’re eating, it’s what’s eating you’?

Well, sometimes it’s not.

Sometimes it is the food you are eating. Which is where I am now. Learning how the ‘healthy’ way of eating that we were taught, and that I’ve been following religiously, has made me sick. It started in January 2018, when I learned about the Whole30 protocol. I went 42 days. I only lost 10 pounds, but I also lost ‘Fibromyalgia’. Since day 21 I have not had a single Fibro symptom! FOOD! Food was the cause, but no doctor ever even suggested that could be an issue. They just offered me pills.

I stayed true to Whole30 for the next three months. I added back what I really wanted to, and what didn’t seem to affect me. Despite this by June I had only lost two more pounds. Something was still not right. Then I found Ketogenic. I was grateful for the Whole30 start because switching to Keto was a breeze. I had rid myself of most of the carbs and addictions by then. It was just a matter of letting go of the sweet potatoes and the high amount of veggies I was eating. Plus I got to add back in dairy, which I had missed. Easy.

Still the weight loss has been slow. It even prompted me to write about it in my blog, finally. The scale is not my friend. Everyone is different but the stories of rapid weight loss were weighing on me (pun intended). I didn’t get on the scale often but that almost made it worse, because I would think ‘after this long the scale must have moved a lot!’ It hadn’t, yet I was fitting into clothes that I was originally wearing at a lower weight. I found myself disappointed, de-motivated and ready to give up. But I don’t allow giving up, so that caused me to once again look inside.

Why was an arbitrary number holding so much value for me? I delved into it and wrote about that, here https://willowsongmedicine.wordpress.com/2018/09/08/its-not-about-the-diet-its-about-life/

What I realized is that I put more value in the number on that scale than the myriads of other evidence showing me that this is a resonant path for me. It revealed my dependence on external validation. It was a huge breakthrough for me. If you have the time, read the post. It was really powerful for me.

So, that brings me back to today and why I think so many of your ‘I’ve only lost____pounds….’ posts are haunting me.

This is a way of eating (WOE). It is not a diet. I see a lot of you saying that, but you aren’t living it. If you are relying on the scale for validation of a job well done, then regardless of what you say, you are looking at this as a diet. If you are looking at your life and seeing validation of a job well done in many places, then you are truly seeing it as a way of eating. Does that make sense?

It isn’t the scale or the protocol that is in question, its your perspective (which is developed from your programming.)

Our bodies, our minds and our spirits are intertwined. You can’t fix one and expect the others to magically align. You have to work on them all simultaneously. If you are looking for a scale ‘high’ to replace the ‘high’ from carbs/sugar you aren’t addressing the real issue…your need for a ‘high’. That’s addictive behavior. The need to see fast results (whatever ‘fast’ means to you) instead of realizing you are just doing something good for yourself. That’s a dependence on immediate gratification; the underlying premise of addiction.

When you are accepting a new way of eating you are changing your whole lifestyle to a more mindful experience. Without that awareness you are just doing a fad diet.

You are doing yourself a disservice if you are not doing your inside work along with the Keto WOE. I believe that it is those who do not do both sides of the work that gain the weight back or struggle the most (going off and on, can’t get back on etc.)

So there it is. My thoughts today. I hope they help.

*end

So, now this becomes a full on blog post rather than a little group post. Which is me being extremely transparent and breathing big. 

I love you. 

~Jade

 

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